Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Neighbour

I said in my last post i was gonna write about my neighbour! Thought i would wait till tomorrow before i write it but i just couldnt wait. The woman is like a ghost, but this time its her voice that follows me everywhere because it is a VERY loud one( i even get a headache thinking about her voice!). Ok! To understand this gist very well. i'll briefly describe the anatomy of my house (sorry i cant stop my medical alter ego from coming in once in a while). My house (sorry!my daddy's house) is a 2-in-1 building, the larger being our house and we call it the main building (it deserves the same since we are the owner) and the boysquarter (i will prefer not to call it that though cus not only do no males reside in it, it is not as small as the boys quarter they show in Nigerian movies)! Before i continue< may i add the fact that our neighbour calls her apartment 'main building' too? Yeah, she is that dramatic! Let me quickly add that my room is the closest to their apartment, that is, my room is at the rear end of our house. Anyways, back to my gist...
My neighbour is a married woman with two children- a girl, Rita (that of course is a wrong name, they are Yorubas) and the second child is Kola (i don't even think he'll come up in my gist at all because he is a toddler). She is married (like i didnt mention that earlier...whatever). I don't know about her husband and I don't care!
*sigh* My first issue with the woman the last time i came home (that was my first time of seeing her...i'm a student and i go to school) was her grammatical blunders (i'm getting teary already). Gosh! she can 'tabon' (shoot gun). She doesn't make big mistakes o, silly small ones lke 'why are you go there?', 'Rita, why is your brother cried?' and many more. Yes, i have been  with and heard many people murder English in my life but none has been this close to me! I have been at home for the past 1 week and yours truly has not gotten used to it! The most painful thing is that she beats her 4-year old daughter for making grammatical errors and that brings a question to my mind- what kind of person notices her child's errors and never her's?. Another one is- How is that even possible?. I have asked every member of my family this question and my Mum has told me downright its a stupid question while my two younger sisters, aged 16 and 9, give me the what-stupid-question-are-you-asking-me look!
Another thing is THIS WOMAN SHOUTS!!! I don't know how i can describe her shouting, NO! wait, i got an idea, she SCREAMS!!!! No, scratch that she SCROUTS (screams + shouts). I hope you get it but incase you don't, let me give you one or two illustrations- anytime she is making a  call, i always think the person she's 'scrouting' at is in the next street and the most annoying thing is the person at the other end never seems to hear her because she repeatedly says hello, hello. My sisters and I have concluded she either has an hearing problem or she's deaf in one ear (and that's only because she hears!). We came to this conclusion because we think 'for you to speak to people, you have to hear yourself (literally)' and we buttressed this with the case of the way we shout when we have ear-piece in our ears because we can only hear ourselves when we shout! Well, we asked my mum since she's a nurse and she told us to f**k off (ok! not the 'f' word, she used 'get'). Another illustration is when she laughs, i'll leave the rest to your imagination.
The last reason i find her annoying is the fact that she can't do anything apart from take care of the house, take care of her children and cook. Lemme explain- it's like she is an industrial machine that can't do any other thing than what is/are indicated in its manual. I'm gonna back this up with examples. She can't put on her generator! Its the smallest generator o (the type that you can use for pendant). She will seat in darkness for many days and will not even attempt to put on her generator! My younger sister taught her the 'trick' to putting on a generator twice and that's because she forgot the first time (after she has put it on herself for a week o)! The newest example is the DSTV she just bought *sigh*. Since the installation of this technology in her house, the poor thing has been on CNN. Well, this shouldn't be a problem except my sister told me she over-heard her telling her husband on phone she doesn't understand what they are saying on CNN and can't change it! I was like'what the hell? Didm't it come with a freaking remote control?'. Well, stating the obvious, the breaking news is she cannot operate the remote! Can u imagine? Even if you didn't go to school, press anything, try! I'm sure the remote is still where the technician that fixed the DSTV for her left it! Why on earth did she evn bother buying it?
I say hi to her but try all my best to avoid her. My only consolation is that i will soon go back to school and i will be free from all her drama!

A brief introduction of me!

Hey everyone! Merry xmas(pronounce it christmas pls!).Today is a saturday and christmas! I see evidences of the former but not the latter. I stopped feeling christmas since i realised some years back when my parents' friends stopped giving me money after eating the food I cooked (emphasis on I). I remember one of them that came impromptu and i had to sacrifice my food for him and when he was leaving he called my two younger sisters and handed them 50 naira each. He later came over to me and patted my back saying 'Deola Deola....iwo ti di big girl abi? I swear i didnt smile but i poured water in his shoes! Till today, everybody in my house still thinks my dog did it!
Ok, that story is just by the way. One of my friends suggested i introduce myself and tell people that are going to be reading my blog about me....*drum roll please*. i have a line for y'all I'M HOT and i proudly say that! Before you close this page out of envy, that was just a silly joke (tongue out)! Well, i'm a 5'8', dark and slim girl(i think i;m actually 5'7' but when i see people that are 5'7', they look short and i know i'm taller than them. Call it psyche or whatever, that one inch makes me happy).I am atalkative! Yes, i talk....very well but not a lot! I dont talk to anybody though, we gotta be almost at the same frequency; u shall neither be too intelligent(cus then you're intimidating)  or too dumb (i dont have to explain that,do i?. If you think i have to, then,refer to the latter part of my sentence). I am a medical student but i dont plan to work as a medical doctor (shoot me, kill me, criticise me...i have heard and seen all). I have a lot of things i want to do and i tell people "i didnt choose medicine, medicine chose me". I didnt know i would get more than the cut-off when i filled it in my JAMB form but whatever, i have just a few years left. Lately, i have been keeping more to myself and even go to the extent of lieing to my friends i'm not home most times. Before u judge me and call me a liar,its because i like my freedom. The gists are always interesting when they come along but after the gists is when they will start changing the TV station or whatever movie you are watching, you have to cook for them and listen to some of them bitch about their 'best friends' or whine about their lives(like i'm a shrink or i dont have my problems too) gets tiring for me. I have one best friend though and we're so close people call us lesbians (i'm straighter than the shortest distance between two points!). I am humorous, ilike tall guys, i am sarcastic and my anger doesnt last for more than five minutes (except its about MTN or glo)! I think thats all about me. I'm feisty...i don try abeg!
My next post is about my new neighbour an things....wash out!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 24, 2010

first post......... again!!!!!!!!!!!

ok! i'm very angry now. oops! where are my manners? HI EVERYONE! welcome to my blog! ok back to my issue-i'm very angry cus this is supposed to be my second blog. i opened a blog initially which i named fromferlens but for one reason or the other,these people closed down my blog...and to even think i posted something very interesting there(i;m serious o)! anyways i just created this one and i hope these dinkus will not close it down!i gotta calm down now (breathe in, breathe out)!!!!!!
ok,peeps! a brief introduction of this blog...its purely gonna be a low down of what is on my mind and my opinion about stuffs that are happening to and around me!i;m open to other views and opinions though, its really whats gon keep this blog cool and interesting.
i gotta go before i bore you but i promise you shall all hear from me cus many things have happened to me in this life o! y;all gotta read my subsequent posts about real life experiences from a young lady's view....i cant believe i'm starting to talk too much again! i gotta really go Martin Luther King's voice i say "ok,bye and God bless y'all"